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Adriano de Souza Wins 2015 Drug Aware Pro Margaret River

 

John John Florence appears to be straddling something here. Turns out it wasn’t a prom date, it was an 8.70.

Nat Young backed up his 3rd place result from Bells with a 3rd place in WA. What’s your plan for Rio, big guy?

Noah’s John’s arc.

Big turns equal big scores. Adriano knows the formula.

Next event, that jersey will be made of gold (or at least neoprene that mimics the color of the precious metal).

Apparently, the kid on the far left was hoping for a fight.


All Photos: Damea Dorsey

Earlier today, I wrote that John John Florence was going to win the 2015 Drug Aware Pro Margaret River. I was wrong. Adriano de Souza won, and he looked damn good while doing it.

When I say “damn good,” I mean powerful. I mean concise. I mean smart, and I mean he looked like he couldn’t fall off of his surfboard. Personally, I don’t find Adriano’s brand of surfing to be the most stimulating. It’s robotic in one sense, redundant in another, and surprising in no sense at all. And let me be clear about this: none of that is a knock on Adriano. He’s a fan-fucking-tastic surfer and has accomplished more in his 28 years on Earth than my mind could ever rightfully appreciate. Still, that doesn’t take away from the fact that his surfing doesn’t excite me.

The thing is that Adriano has figured out the intelligent way to win. He knows that you don’t need to land a full-rotation in order to make a heat (looking at you Filipe) and that three strong, fluid turns will still get you a nine. Honestly, it’s no different from a guy like Mick or Bede or Joel lately. The judging criteria doesn’t include a clause that states you must surf in a way that makes writer bitches like me sweat all over you — you just need to win your heat. And Adriano he did just that, all the way through the finals. He’s the new ratings leader and he very well deserves to be.

Now, whether or not three turns warrant a nine in 2015 a different discussion — one we’ll have next, shall we? (Spoiler alert: I think not). But hey, while we’re shaking fists and throwing stones at the WSL for being such wild crazy stupid asssholes, I might as well chuck this rock at that big glass Santa Monica window: we could’ve seen the conclusion of this event at The Box. This might have been the best Margaret River window that one could ever ask for, and there was surely a way to make the Semis and Final not become a battle of the cutback. Overall, Keiren Perrow and the guys that tell him what to say on the webcast do a great job at making the call. This event was only a faint blemish on a pedigree of excellence.

In summation: John John almost won the event, The Box almost declared a champion and a portly Online Editor almost wrote a contest recap that didn’t piss you off. Baby steps, I suppose. —Brendan “Might As Well Just Throw It Out There That I Hate Gluten, You Know, Since I’ve Been Writing Everything Else Off” Buckley

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Conner Coffin // Fred Stubble // 2:39

 

There are very few bonds like the bond between a man and his surfboard. Government bonds, for example, are nothing like the bond between flesh and foam. James Bonds? Not even close. Maybe Barry Bonds, if we were the type who never misses the chance at a home run pun (don’t worry, we’re not). So let’s just appreciate this clip of Conner Coffin and his signature Fred Stubble surfboard from Channel Islands for what it is: unique. Unique and powerful.

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Ozzie Wright Is Having More Fun Than You

 

Ozzie Wright’s surfing is (and always has been) utterly unique. Nobody rides a surfboard quite like him, not even Mason Ho. Here’s a clip of Oscar riding a board called the Inflatable Mattress from Vampirate Surfboards, shaped by none other than Andrew Doheny. And with that, we humbly dare you to have this much fun next time you paddle out.

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Sterling Spencer // A Day in the Life // 1:23

Ever wanted to experience a day in the life of a real, living pro surfer? Wanted to relish in the whims of an immaculate breed, to taste the waves and the women? Well pal, today’s your lucky day. Sterling Spencer is a weird human in the best of ways and one of them is his surfing. He recently signed with Rusty and here he is celebrating. Come along for a day in the life complete with explosions, ape sightings and a side of surfing stuffed into one little fun-sized minute. It’s everything you could have ever imagined (except the women).

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Jordy Smith // California // 4:27

In terms of geographic location, South Africa and California have little in common. In terms of prolific waves, black presidents and Jordy Smith, commonalities abound. We need not mention Jordy was born and bred in South Africa. Need we mention he now resides in California? Apparently not—here he is, kicking back on his Lazyboy a long way from Durban.

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John John Florence Actually Wins 2014 Quiksilver Pro France

“So should we win today?” John John Florence and Kelly Slater, decision hour. Photo: Corey Wilson
This is a lie. A beautiful one. Photo: Corey Wilson
Please, don’t call him Larry. John John Florence. Photo: Greg Gyselinck
A word from Gabriel Medina to Jadson Andre. That word was win. Photo: Corey Wilson
John John Florence, a people person. Photo: Corey Wilson
A barrel person too. Photo: Greg Gyselinck
Is this what re-qualification feels like? Jadson Andre. Photo: Corey Wilson
And every last one of them is pretty. Photo: Corey Wilson
Tenacious? Sure. Jadson Andre. Photo: Corey Wilson
Fare you well John. Photo: Corey Wilson
The French love a good kick-out. Jadson Andre, the people’s champ. Photo: Corey Wilson
GYS_7967
Oh yes he did. Photo: Corey Wilson
Sometimes, you look at a trophy and think, “How the hell is he going to get that home?” This is not one such case. Photo: Corey Wilson
This might be the first time they hugged but it won’t be the last. Photo: Corey Wilson

Glass boots…
Those photos you see above? They’re lying to your face. The final day of the 2014 Quiksilver Pro France was not the best day ever. It was good, but it was good like the history of Bob Dylan’s live shows — spikes of fascinating perfection with a whole lot of grumbly confusion in between. No, the waves today were not for everybody. But neither is the podium. And by way of rhythm, talent, luck or a combination of all three, some guys seemed to have the best feet for today’s glass slipper… Well, it was 10-foot. So let’s just call it a boot.

Le prélude…
The day started with a duo of Quarterfinal duels. First, Miguel Pupo and Jadson Andre starred in the I’m kind of surprised but I really shouldn’t be first heat of the morning. They went tit-for-tat, tat-for-tit and 5.50-for-4.33 until Jadson was declared the winner.

Then came the second most important heat of the day: Jordy Smith VS Kelly Slater VS Gabriel Medina, who wasn’t really in the heat but can practically taste the world title from here. Jordy is still all hopped up from a win at Lowers and surfing like it. Kelly is Kelly, but Kelly wasn’t really Kelly in this heat and got done up by Jordy’s 7.33 — the judges sure do admire that turn of his. After the heat, a not-smiling Slater stayed in the water and drifted… That 12th world title is a long way’s away.

Then, semis. John John Florence and Josh Kerr kicked us off. John kicked way harder with 15 and a half hard-earned points. And out came Jordy Smith with Jadson Andre. Would Jordy set up a date with John John for a Hurley Pro rematch? Absolutely not! Jadson mauled Jordy with some of the event’s best surfing at Jordy — he’s a tenacious son of a bitch — and his 16.67 points were the day’s highest. As the final horn sounded, a gust of wind from the Brazilian storm took the red, white and blue hat with an eagle strangling a cobra and the words “MANIFEST DESTINY” embroidered on it right off my head.

Le finale…
John John Florence and Jadson Andre. An unlikely pair, but predictability has no place in good surfing. John started early with a 7.17 while Jadson dove straight into a heat-long cycle of catching the worst waves and wearing the best ones on the head. Resilient though, that Jadson. He truly never gave up — not even when John dropped an 8.83 towards the end of the heat. It was only when he proclaimed “See everyone at the Rock Food!” during the award ceremony that he truly admitted defeat. My bet is that defeat tastes a lot like Cabernet. And for John? Getting a 3rd, a 2nd and now a 1st in three consecutive events must not feel so bad. Note to John: Next time you decide to put together a World Title-contending string of results, start earlier.

They say that tomorrow…
Hossegor will be back to its lazy old self as the pros, team managers, photographers, creators, innovators, enthusiasts, board caddies, videographers, luminaries and portly online editors of the world vacate to Portugal. The Cascais Prime starts on Tuesday. Best of luck to the poor saps out there trying to qualify (I’m looking at you, Dunphy) with guys like Jordy Smith in the draw. —Brendan Buckley

Quiksilver Pro France Final Results:
1 -John John Florence (HAW) 16.00
2 -Jadson Andre (BRA) 4.57

Quiksilver Pro France Semifinal Results (1st Advances to Finals, 2nd Finishes Equal 3rd):
SF 1: John John Florence (HAW) 15.50 def. Josh Kerr (AUS) 8.60
SF 2: Jadson Andre (BRA) 16.67 def. Jordy Smith (ZAF) 8.84

Quiksilver Pro France Remaining Quarterfinal Results (1st Advances to Semifinals, 2nd Finishes Equal 5th):
QF 3: Jadson Andre (BRA) 10.50 def. Miguel Pupo (BRA) 8.26
QF 4: Jordy Smith (ZAF) 12.50 def. Kelly Slater (USA) 10.50

ASP WCT Top 5 (after Quiksilver Pro France):
1. Gabriel Medina (BRA) 56,550 pts
2. Kelly Slater (USA) 50,050 pts
3. Mick Fanning (AUS) 43,600 pts
4. Joel Parkinson (AUS) 43,100 pts
5. John John Florence (HAW) 41,950 pts

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Julian Wilson // Bangers And Mash // 6:23

 

Here’s a surprising stat: Kolohe Andino is currently ranked higher than Julian Wilson on the WCT. It’s surprising because Kolohe has been taking heat for having a sub-par year (aside from his first ever finals appearance in Brazil) while Julian’s lack of success (aside from his third place result at Bells) has flown mostly under the radar. And it’s even more surprising because watch this. There is no way Julian shouldn’t be forever in the top 5, contending for a world title. Smooth, powerful, progressive, adjective, adjective, handsome! Well worth the six and a half minute investment.

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Trailer: Get-N Classic Volume 3

 

Trailer: Get-N Classic Volume 3

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Kyuss King // Gold Coast // 3:20

 

Imagine if every 13-year-old kid was like Kyuss King. Just a bunch of long-haired mutants taking over. Being rambunctious and kicking the tail around. Laying it on rail at Snapper then getting out of the water and listening to Led Zeppelin while they do homework or something. The world would be an interesting place, no? Maybe it’s best that there is only one Kyuss King. Still, if you’re 13, it wouldn’t hurt to be a little bit like Kyuss. And it definitely wouldn’t hurt to surf like him.

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